Audition
by KirstyJayne
Summary: One-shot, one-way Rypay, in which Sharpay & Ryan audition for the musicale What I've Been Looking For , and Ryan inwardly battles with himself. R&R? I do not own HSM in any way at all, it's all fictional. And I do not own the song either.


"I told you not to do the jazz squares," Sharpay whispers through her smile, scolding me while she grins at Ms. Darbus, waiting for our deserved applause.

"It's a crowd favourite," I reason. "Everybody loves a good jazz square." My lips barely move from my own perfect smile after finishing our audition/performance. Sharpay's not listening though - she gives Kelsi a dangerous glare, the signal for her to start applauding us. Soon, everyone in the room is clapping. I remove my arm from around Sharpay's waist, take her hand, and bow with her. I don't look into the small gathering in the auditorium; my eyes are fixed on the stage, on my feet, as she curtsies, beaming at everyone. I let Sharpay have the attention - she deserves it the most, after all.

We exit the stage, and I lessen my grip on her hand, feeling it slip out of my grasp, yet still feeling the lingering warmth of her touch, the scent of her favourite perfume. This is so wrong, but I can't help but feel this way. People who know Sharpay know how amazing she is...People who truly know Sharpay, that is. I'm lucky enough to be one of those people. Sharpay is not the shallow Ice Queen that everybody on the outside sees. Of course, she wants the best; she needs the best, but there's more to her than that.

_And she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen..._

I can't think this way, I shouldn't...But I can never stop myself. Everybody believes that I'm just Sharpay's shadow, her show dog - I bet she even believes it herself - but it's not like that at all. I like to perform with Sharpay because, because...

_Because you love her, Ryan._

It feels so real. But what would Sharpay think if she knew? She can't know, she can't know how genuine I felt when we were singing together just moments ago. 'What I've Been Looking For'...That's Sharpay Evans, and it felt like Kelsi wrote that song for us, although in reality, I know she didn't. I don't know what went through Sharpay's mind while we were on that stage, but I honestly felt so blinded, like I was singing to her and her only. Like there was no-one else in the room. It's probably why I messed up a couple of times on the stage. I hope Sharpay isn't too mad at me, but I know we're going to walk away with the lead parts, no matter what.

_I've never had someone that knows me like you do...the way you do..._

I still can't believe I screwed up! The moment is replaying itself in my mind, more than I can take. But the way I felt her hot breath on my face as we sang that line changed it all completely. I didn't care that she pushed me to make me turn around and continue our audition, even though I felt like I could just collapse right there on the spot. I don't even care that Sharpay makes me rehearse those ridiculous vocal exercises day in day out. But if it makes her happy, that's enough for me. That's what I want, to see Sharpay flash me one of those dazzling smiles of hers. The real ones, not the phoney ones she plasters on her face in front of everybody else. I know Sharpay well enough to see when she's being real, and when it's an act to her. When we act together in the musicals.

I used to get asked if I found it weird that me and Sharpay got the leads in the musicals, and having to play love interests. But honestly, I inwardly pray after every audition that me and Shar would get those precious roles, because I long for those moments. Even though for her it's just acting, and for me, it's so much more - I feel that she shows me the love I so desperately want from her. And I don't even care that it's fake, and it messes my head up even more. Sharpay Evans is my twin sister, and I shouldn't love her like this. But I have to live with it...Literally.

I can hardly speak to Sharpay at home, and I can't say I trust myself to talk to her without having all these wrong thoughts tumbling out of my mouth. I never go into her room and I don't let her in my room either. It's almost like there's no bond between us at all, because it eats me up inside every day. It tears me up how I can't tell her despite wanting her to know. She would hate me, and probably tell her friends. Soon I'd be shunned by everybody. I don't care about everybody else though, just Sharpay. All I want is her to appreciate me, to feel her touch again, no matter if it's only in a dance.

_It's illegal, Ryan. This is illegal, morally wrong. It's not normal, stop thinking this way._

I sneak a sideways glance at Sharpay. Who am I kidding? She will only ever see me as a brother. A _twin_. And there's nothing I can do about it.

_Well, Ryan...Just wait for the callback.._

**A/N: Well, there it is lol My first Rypay. I've stated that I'm not really adjusted to this pairing, because well...But there are a "fair few" fans of Rypay so I decided to write this, hope it's not too awful haha  
Also: I know the part in the song I pointed out wasn't a mess-up, but I wrote about it as if Ryan felt it was because..well, you read why. I don't know what inspired me to write this lol  
lol The callback was a reference to Bop to the Top (and Lucas' smexiness in it!), and just the fact that Ryan loves her. :)  
-KJ**


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